Night Terrors:(

So this post isn't about Australia exactly. I've been having bad nighttime experiences. I don't know if they are night terrors for sure but its really bad. I am terrified to sleep because of the dreams i have every single night. Every night i wake up at least 4 or 5 times a night. When i wake up im always terrified to go back to sleep. When im not having night terrors im an insomniac just up until about 5:50a.m. sometimes even 7 a.m. But i prefer that over the night terrors. Last night was probably the worst. I stayed at my unofficial boyfriends place and we go to bed. I dream that im in bed with him begging him to wake me up because something bad is going to happen if i dont wake up. He wont wake me up though, he thinks im faking it and im begging him wake me up wake me up. So eventually i wake up from this dream and im just feeling so scared. Then i see this shadow on the walls everywhere i look it moves there. I was so afraid all night, i woke him up so many times during the night because i was just so afraid. It had to be around 6am when i finally slept for a while. So when we get up in the morning he asks me what did i dream of. I told him about my dream and he said yes you were actually screaming in your sleep "wake me up wake me up please" he told me he tried to wake me but i didnt wake up. Guys you dont know how scary it is. I feel scared to sleep now. I've been having really bad dreams a lot lately and just an overall fear at night even if my dreams arent scary. I dont know whats going on with me but i really really dont like these night terrors:(

shopping, part 2!

Today i went out with my bestfriend L. We went into the city to do some souvenir shopping. Well 2 hours of walking up and down the streets of Australia and all we had to show for ourselves was two frappucinos from Starbucks lol...The plan was to get souvenirs but we were both just happy to get off campus. We saw a sign for a food and wine tasting next weekend, its about 30 bucks but its the two things we love, food and wine so why not? lol After being the city we decide to head home to watch a play with one of our boys. We get on a train and after being on for 4 minutes, we notice hmm wait a minute i've never passed these stations before. L notices we are going the wrong way on the train and high off my frappucino im like thats ok we'll just ride this out see where we end up lol We finally get off the train and get on another to head back in the right direction. We finally make it back to school just in time for the play. The Play was called The Visit. Ok let me tell you, this play was very interesting. Theres this woman Claire who used to live in this poor town but now shes rich and shes coming to visit. The townspeople hope she will donate money to them because shes so rich and theyre so poo. She gets back and she runs into her ex boyfriend. Apparently, they dated 30 years ago and he got her pregnant, when she told him that it was his he denied it. She took him to court and he bribed two men to lie in court and say they slept with her. She was humiliated and left the town to eventually become a prostitute because no one else would hire her. Now shes back in town and she proposes a deal to the town. 1 million dollars to the town, 500,000 to invest in the town and 500,000 to split amongst all families IF someone kills her ex boyfriend! she wants justice in return for this money. Do they go thru with it? yup! even his family is involved in his murder! Overall great play i enjoyed it. After the play L and I went back to her room and she made us quesadillas mmm yummmy. I only have three more weeks left with my L so i plan to spend as much time with her as i can. Tomorrow i think we're gonna try and go souvenir shopping again, part 2!

My Unofficial boyfriend

So...about five weeks ago one of my homie's introduced me to a boy and since then we've been hanging out. He's from Kenya and absolutely amazing. Since i've been here i have been hanging out with mostly boys but when i'm with them im definitely treated like one of the boys lol I get beat up, made fun of and everything and i love it i do honestly. But i can't even describe how nice it is to have one of the guy's actually treat me like a girl lol. Well we immediately connected when we met and found out we are the exact same star sign. We began hanging out and haven't stopped since. From cooking dinner for me, to sharing stories for hours, i'm ahving such a great time. The thing is of course this is just like an aussie romance nothing serious but its helped me learn a lot about what i need in a relationship. I need someone who makes me feel important and beautiful and everytime i'm with him i feel jsut that. I joked with my friends about him being my unofficial boyfriend so i'll refer to him as that here. We have the same group of guy friends so i see him often and i get to hang out with both him and my boys so its great. But my favorite times are when we are alone, i usually go to his place because the dorms are tinyyyy and he lives in an apartment like 2 minutes from halls. But when we're alone sometimes we dont even talk, we just look at each other or trace each other's face with our hands. it's so cute and sweet that its almost sickening lol But seriously its so nice everytime im with him. He's introduced me to his friends as well and we all hang out just chilling at his place drinking and talking. The thing i think about most is if i'll find someone who treats me as wonderful when i go home, not as soon as i go home although that would be nice but i mean like in the future. I sure hope so, because honestly i'm not going to settle for anything less because i know for a fact i deserve someone to love me and treat me like i'm the most special girl in the world....
I know when July comes and i have to get on the plane i'll be ready to go but i'll definitely miss him a lot. I definitely learned alot from my unofficial boyfriend lol

Champagne makes me a happy drunk

So this past Thursday we had a formal Ball with the theme being A Night at The Races! It was very much like prom, girls were in fancy dresses and boys in suits. It was only for resident students and was a little expensive for tickets but hey prom usually is. Anyway i went with my girls of course. No dates, i would have loved to go with this guy but he is not a resident plus he already went last year and wasnt interested in going again. anyway though it was at this beautiful venue with open bar so you know i was happyyyyy lol As soon as we got in you know what we did, take pictures of course! Then we headed to the bar for some champagne. We were all at assigned tables depending on when you bought your tickets, L and I bought our tickets together so we were at the same table luckily. Everyone was dressed so beautifully, i had fun just looking at everyones dresses and suits. Finally dinner was served starting with an appetizer of smoken salmon and orzo which was delicious (there was an alternative dish of rizotto cheese and spinach wrapped in pasta), the main course was steak, potatoes and vegetables (or chicken instead of steak) and deseert was chocolate pie mmm yummmm. The food was so delicious. As for drinks on our tables were bottles of red wine, white wine, champagne, beer and soda. Waiters would come and bring us new bottles when we would finish what was on our table. I had sooo much champagne, i was feeling veryyyy nice lol. After dinner it was time to dance for hours and hours. I had so much fun, at first they played songs i didnt really like or know too well then the hip hop and pop came and you know i had to get crazy and dance to that. I found a nice dance partner who could keep up which is rare in australia and danced the night away with him. There was an after party but i had made plans with a special someone already so i didnt go, neither did L. Overall Halls Ball was fun afterall lol..i looked great, felt great, ate great and enjoyed myself. oh and i learned something that night, Champagne makes me a happy drunk lol

Thanks Broken Hill!

So for the weekend of April 30th to May 4th, i went on a trip to the outback, Broken Hill. Believe you me, it was definitely the outback, a bunch of dirt, old shops and plenty of flies. Everything seemed to be in the style of old western movies, except with aussie accents you know lol. The trip was definitely a learning experience for me, not so much educationally (although it was a bit) but i learned a lot about myself. i certainly found my circle of friends on this trip. anyway tho let me tell you about the trip first. It was like a ten hour bus ride just to get there and when we finally arrived at our hostel it was dark out. The place we stayed out was like a hotel from a horror movie, the rooms were so creepy and the mirrors in the halls that reminded me of The Ring ahhhhhhh! I shared a room with my new bestfriend L, we slept with the light on all three nights we were there. We went to a coal mine where we actually got to put on those little hats with the flashlight on top and go under ground. It was a little hard to breathe but very very cool..We also got to ride camels which was so funnn..so camel's legs bend in two places and it is so weird to watch them lay down, its really scary to be on a camel when its laying down and when its standing up. You feel like you are gonna fall right off but the actual camel ride was so nice, almost romantic (if it werent for the billions of flies all over the place). We also went on a tour of this valley where there used to be a river and our tour guide was an actual aboriginal man (um he is to australia what native americans are to the U.S, like the first inhabitants of the land you know). I tried to enjoy his tour but the flies were aggrivating me so much i wanted to kill someone. another day we had a demonstration of sheep sheering (where they remove all the wool from a sheep, giving him a nice haircut) It seems so mean when you think about it but i swear the sheep were in no pain and they looked cute after their haircuts. after sheep sheering we climbed a mountain and watched the sunset, very romantic. Afte rthe sun had set we ate dinner then sat around a bonfire. I became really close with L and my other new friend C. Me and L started our own book club during the 5 day trip we ended up reading liek 5 books, some of which we bought at an opal shop in this ghost town (the books were 6 for a dollar, old novels you know where the man whisks the woman away from a sad lonesome life and on the covers you always see the man embracing the woman with his strong arms lol). anyway our reading club consists on me L and C plus our friend M and two boys. (names arent important guys relax) But i must say this was anamazing trip fro me because i found my circle of friends who i can absolutely be myself around, people who actually care about me and my issues, who are very similar to me, who invite me places and actually like me for me. L is the sweetest girl on the planet and soemtimes i just wish she was a princess because she deserves the best things in life because she's so nice. I am so envious of C because she is such a strong person, she doesn't tolerate poor service and she's usually the more assertive one for me and L. M is the star of the show, she is so lively and animated it just makes you excited. I'm really happy i came to australia now, i made great friends here FINALLY lol overall for the trip Hated the flies, Loved the friends i made, Thanks Broken Hill!

completely confused???

This is an emotional post for me. You guys know when i first got to australia, i was feeling alone. The thing is it was the same way when i first went to college too. You feel alone, like you're thrown into this new world and expected to find a group or a partner in crime instantly and its hardwork especially if you're shy. well sometimes you go to events or just randomly you meet people and you feel like yes this is it, i've made a connection and then nothing. You see them around and its like they don't even remember who you are or at most you get a "hey whats up?" and you think to yourself, was i really not that interesting as a person that he or she decided i dont even want to get to know them? Its tough. Well, i had the chance to meet some great people in Australia and we had soem good times together but all of sudden they stop texting me when i use to get texts all the time, they stop visiting when i use to permanently leave my door unlocked so i wouldnt have to keep getting up every hour when they'd visit. I'm telling myself maybe they have a lot of work and they've been busy but facebook tells me otherwise. I cant help but ask myself WTF happened? why were we so close two weeks ago and then all of a sudden its as if we never met? I don't know guys, i assume that good friends will make time for me and i wont ask myself questions like this when it comes to them. Like my new friend from Loyola that i met here, i feel as though even when we leave Australia we'll still be good friends and hang out at Loyola, honestly i cannot say the same about other people from Loyola. nd even worse what about the people i met that aren't from Loyola, but from different parts of the world, i may never ever see them again, and im pretty sure some will write on my wall from time to time but others wont. They'll just be a bunch of memories in my mind. Of course they changed my life even in small ways and i'm glad to have met them, i just wonder what caused things to change so drastically? I'm not torn up by this, just completely confused???

Spring Break OH TEN!

So for my spring break i went on a ten day trip from Brisbane to cairns called One Fish Two Fish. It is a Loyola tradition, every semester people who study abroad in australia go on this trip, it costs almost 2500 but after i describe it u'll realize just as i did how WORTH it, it is. So in total 30 Loyola students went and 40 other students studyign abroad in different parts of Australia (mostly american or candian). The first night we stayed in this hostel where there was a bar right downstairs so ofcourse we hit that up, We got two free shots and discounted drinks all night. I had this shot called a Cowboy, i hear its the equivalent of the slippery nipple in america?? well its like baileys and butter scotch it was delicious i had about 4 of those lol and then vodka and sprites. It was a good night after all those drinks lol..The next day we went to the zoo where we saw the crocodile hunters family including his famous daughter Bindi! (yea i didnt know who she was either, shes like the quivalent of hannah montana but for a much younger audience) Anyways, that night we had a booze cruise mmm free wine and beer for two hours on a huge boat sailing the sea at night, AMAZING!...The next day we went to an island (Fraser Island) and relaxed on the beach...Teh next day we rode on speed boats to the WhitSunday Islands, on the speed boat ride we played a huge game of spin the bottle and passed around two goon sacks(bags of wine) and didnt leave the boats until they were finished so we were tipsyyyy by the time we hit the island. We layed on the island for a few hours where i was given swim lessons by a few friends. We hit the speed boats to head to our new hostels on another island and of course we hit the wine again on the way there. So many people blacked out by the time we hit the island lol...That night we had a plastic party where we were given three plastic bags and had to make an outfit out of it of course mine was very skanky lol It was a lot of funnn, the next day i lounged around the pool all day then at night we had a beach party at the bar. I found a sexy tour guide to give me swim lessons and a few kisses afterwards for being a good student lol...I met a cute aussie afterwards to have a lil fun with for the night;) The next day we got on a multi million dollar yacht and sailed the sea for a day of scuba diving. Day 6 we went WHITE WATER RAFTING, it was sooo much fun, the rapids were crazy our boat filled with water,w e were smacked in the face with water, landed into rocks, went under waterfalls, it was amazing. We paddled our way down the amazing river for 4 hours of fun. Finally we were in Cairns and feeling very EXTREME! Day 7 during the day there was an opportunity to go skydiving but instead i got my FIRST TATTOO!! it says Chosen Silence and i love ittttttt!!!! At night was BUNGY JUMPING, we plunged from 145 feet in the air down over a lake, i was so scared but once i jumped it was the biggest adrenaline rush EVER, then me and two friends got on a swing that went up 160 feet and sent us flying down across the park at 120 km/hr with us screaming our lungs out lol...After that i had my first TEQUILA SHOT! which was definitely called for after that adventure...
Day 8 we took another amazing boat to the Great Barrier reef for a day of snorkeling and scuba diving. With my new tattoo i couldnt snorkel or scuba dive but the boat was amazinggggg...That night we had a pub crawl consisting of 4 bars and a crazy contest at each. Well i ended up winning two of the contests. The first was a condom popping contest where i had to bounce up and down ona pump that was placed on a guys lap and blow up a condom until it popped. The second contest was the fake Orgasm contest, i dont think i need to explain the rules for that, and obviously I WON! lol...I won to free tshirts for the contests but i gave one to one of my friends... The final night we had a goodbye dinner and party, awards were given out and i got an award for being loved by everyone and wining the contests and dancing my ass off lol.. The next day before our flight we went to the movies and saw The Last Song with Miley Cyrus omg such a good movie cried my eyes out lol..We had late flight back, we got in about 12am but didnt get back to our dorms until almost 2 am and i had a text at 11 for which i hadnt studied for yet. Overall this spring break was the best time of my life. I met so many people, came out fo my comfort shell and accomplished so many things i never would have imagined. I dont think anything will ever top this experience, to quote some of my favorite lines from the trip used by everyone but especially one really loud Long Island Italian Boy "SPRING BREAK OH TEN, SHOW US THE TWINS! DUMP EM OUT! YOUZE A DIRTY GIRL!" i'll never forget spring break OH TEN! :)

Pajama Party:)

On the 27th, i went to a Pajama party with my three favorite homies. Well i went with two the other one met us there. We had to take a bus, a train and then get picked up from the train station just to get to the house where this party was. The entire journey there, the two boys kept picking on me and at first i was laughing but then i was just annoyed. They made me so mad that i just stopped talking to them for 45 minutes. Finanlly we get to the party and i didnt know anyone there so it was awkward. A game of spin the bottle starts up and im dying to play so after quietly nagging my boys about how i wanna play they get me in the game lol. I ended up kissing two boys, the first wasnt cute at all eh but the second was sooo hot, hes south african but hes white with curly blonde hair and a body to die for uhh so sexy lol..After playing i just stood around drinking because the music wasnt my type of music at all..It got pretty late and the trains had stopped running so we had to sleepover which wasnt a problem. We ended up having a big sleepover, me, my three homies and the sexy boy i kissed all slept on two twn mattresses on the floor lol...As always i was the only girl but i love that. After some heavy flirting with my one homie we all got in bed in uncomfortable positions and tried to sleep. I had so many heavy legs on me and arms around me, it was so hot in that room lol. In the middle of the night i was like 'im hot" and two of my homies including the one i was flirting with was like what? and then i just ripped off my pants lmao It was so funny, they were so caught off guard. We ended up sleeping til noon the next day before walking a mile back to the train station and heading back to Uni. Although the party wasnt all that i had fun with my homies, hopefully that wont be my last pajama party:)

Coming to Australia was a GOOD decision!

Ok so i havent updated in a long time so im going back and telling u everything, ok So back to March 26th, it was my homie's birthday and we surprised him with a birthday cake and i bought him a card and decorations for his door. He was so surprised and so happy. I ended up getting WASTEDDDDDDD on his birthday that night so i passed out shortly after him blowing out his candles. But before passing out i was talking to this guy one of my homie's friends and he was very interested in me. i was interested but only because of the alcohol, without alcohol in my system i probably wouldnt have given him the time of day. Not that he wasnt cute, he was, but he was short and just not appealing to me. Anyway though im talking to this guy and im like i want to go to my room. So he walks me to my room and i guess he thought he was gonna get some action. He probably would have but um I THREW UP, not once, not twice, but THREE times lol...Very unsexy, he ended up just putting me in bed and leaving lol. I was told the next day that my homie came to my room after that to say thanks for the card and i told him i was a "good girl" i dont remember that at all lol..why would i say that? cuz im ridiculous and was ridiculously drunk lol...But im really happy he enjoyed his birthday, me and this other girl danced on top of a table for him to Birthday Sex as his birthday present lol VERY sexy!...I already know im gonna be so sad when i have to leave him in July, along with the other guys i met here. Idk they're growing on me, as much as they pick on me and get on my nerves some days, they mean so much to me. That really make me feel like coming to Australia was a GOOD decision!

PRO-SURFER

Ok so i had a two day trip this past weekend to The Great ocean road. According to wikipedia, "The Great Ocean Road is a 243 km stretch of road along the south-eastern coast of Australia between the Victorian cities of Torquay and Warrnambool.[1] The road was constructed to provide work for returning soldiers and dedicated as a Memorial to those killed in the First World War.[2] " ok so its this longgggg road and basically there are a bunch of tourist attractions like beaches and rock formations. Ok so Our tour started with us meeting at 8am and if you read my last post you heard me say i went to bed at 6 am. So as soon as i got on the bus i was out. Our first stop was at a surfing museum which was really cool, we learned about the history of surfing and how surfing has changed over the years, very cool. This was the pre-requisite for our surfing lesson which was next. so some of you who really know me may be thinking surfing? Porscha you can't even swim. well you are absolutely right but guess what i was SURFING. It wasreally scary like really really scary because i really cannot swim but there were surfing instructors who took me out on my board and set me up for waves and let me go. I couldnt stand up on my feet but i did surf a few waves on my knees and body surfed others (laying flat on my stomach on the board on a wave)...It was the most exciting thing i've ever done in my life, yea definitely was. After our two hour surf lessing, we saw a few sights like other beaches and we even crashed a wedding at the beach, oops! To end the day we went to this trailer park kinda place and up in the tree were KOALAS!

One was on a branch really close to us, it was the cutest thing ever, but i hear they have chlamydia (that may or not be true so dont go spreading that just yet )lmao. We stayed at a hostel for the night which was kinda like being at a weird summer camp lol...The second day was full of Rock formations like the 12 Apostles which is really beautiful and Loch Ard Gorge. It was really cool but afterwards i was so tired. I cannot wait for this summer back home so i can try surfing again, it was too much fun not to try it again! You never know i may be the next Pro-Surfer :)

HIGHLIGHT OF MY LIFE

Ok I know i haven't been writing much but i have a few posts to write right now so don't complain lol...ok Well i'll start off by telling you things have been going very well lately, crap i probably just jinxed myself...Ok Well i'm gonna start with Friday. Friday Night i was invited out with two of my guy friends and a girl friend, lets call them Mr. Hottie, Mr. Chocolate and Ms. Boyfriend. ok so Mr Hottie took us to meet a bunch of his friends and i must say i loveeeeee them all. They are so outgoing and wild...We went to a club in the city where all night they played hiphop, r&b, reggae/dancehall and reggaeton, so you knwow i was dancing my booty off..So i was having soo much fun, had some cranberry and vodka and beer so i was feeling nice...Let me just tell you, when they put on beyonce i LOST my mind, i mean LOST it seriously lol...But the highlight of the night was when Keri Hilson "knock you down" came on and i sang to and danced all over Mr Hottie, it was probably, no wait yea it DEFINITELY was the hottest, most sexiest thing i've ever done in my life lol...After partying til 3 we hit Hungry jacks which is basically burger king and i was introduced to french fries with plum barbeque sauce, i swear to you, it is like a little slice of heaven, i would compare it to great sex yea i definitely would...So after a long night me and Mr Hottie found our way back to the dorm and were escorted by the college head just to make sure we didnt make noise and to make sure we went to our separate rooms. Funny thing is though Mr Hottie ended up coming to my room anyway so take that! we stayed up until about 6 am and guess what i had to get up at 7 to get ready for my trip to the great ocean road which i'll tell you about in the next post. But overall i hadddd so much fun that night and i met some great people i cant wait to see again. That night was definitely a HIGHLIGHT OF MY LIFE

St. Patty's Day: Down Unda Edition

So It's St. Patty's day for you guys today but St. patty's Day here was yesterday. Let me tell you guys, it was sooooo much fun. i've never been out on St. Patty's day (i know, lame, i give you permission to make the Loser sign with your fingers). Well anyway, me and a few girls from Loyola went to this bar not too far from campus called Dooleys. When we walked over there, the line was massiveeeeeeeee. We waited online for probably 45 minutes. While i'm in line, this boy in front of me keeps looking at me. I'm thinking to myself like um what is he looking at? Is he going to say something or what? At one point we make eye contact and he turns to his friend and whispers in his ear then his friend looks at me. At that point i'm like he must think im hott lol So we get to the front of the line and the bouncers walk away so this random girl lifts the lil rope thingy that keeps people out and let us all in lol. So we get in and as soon as i walk through the door the boy who kept staring at me grabs me by the hands and brings me in close to him. I was like whoa! It really caught me off guard. He was like do you remember me? I'm like um no. So finally after a jog down memory lane, during my first week in Australia i went out to a club and he was there buying me grey goose and cranberry (i wrote a post on this, A+ for those of you who remember). We talked for a while then he was all over me so i ditched him lol. So when i saw him last night and he reminded me off the club he also reminded me of how i ditched him lol Ok stop the track let me paint a picture for you, he's probably a lil under 6 feet, muscular body, tan, blonde hair in a very justin beiber surfer boy style. He's hottt! but clingy and i don't work well with clingy, yall know i love to flirt with many boys...

Anyway back to the story so once i tell him i remember him he hugs me and kisses me, i am completely caught off guard but im like ok well..lol So he takes me by the hand and is like come on lets sit down im like um well im kinda thirsty i want a drink, hes like of course i'll get you a drink. So we go over to the bar and theres this big native american looking guy who must have been 30 something, he introduces himself to us and kisses my hand. He buys us drinks, he offers to buy us shots but the bartender says they arent doing shots anymore. We take our drinks and sit in a corner and he is all over me. he invites me to sleepover his place which is by campus (i know this cuz its a fact not from experience i swear lol) so i was like no i dont think so he wa slike begging, im like lets just go dance. So we go dance and again hes like tryin to kiss me every second. Ok i was just complaining to someone that i wanna makeout with someone but trust me this is not what i meant, i meant i wanted to meet someone nice we hang out and eventually we makeout not like i see u for the second time at a bar and we makeout...anyways though he aks me to sleepover again im like no um how about i facebook u he was like how about this u sleepover and in the morning we will sit in front of the computer and go on facebook together lmao i had to laugh at that but no i was not going home with this stranger even if he was really hott...So eventually im like ok im gonna go find my friends now and i booked it but we did exchange phone numbers and he gave me his email address to find him on fb (and for u nosey bodies that are logging onto FB right now to check my page and see who i recently became friends with to see what he looks like, i didnt facebook him, not yet at least. cant be too eager you know...So after i left him i stayed with the girls i came with. This one boy that kept passing me kept trying to untie my halter top, i told him he was a bad boy and he was like in love with me lol...he gave me his green bowtie to wear and said i looked like a playboy bunny and blew me a kiss before he walked away.I saw some of the guys from my dorm there which was cool, they tickled and pushed me as usual, silly boys. i got a lot of stares from guys which was probably because of the tight white booty shorts i had on and cuz im ridiculously sexy you know lol...overall i'm gonna say the night was a success. I got free beer, a phone number, numerous lustful glares and stares, a bowtie, hugs, kisses and an overall amazing time on St. Patty's Day: Down Unda Edition!

Pay someone to be my friend!

I kinda feel like i'm letting you guys down with this blog. I haven't really been doing much to write about :( . Today seemed like a really really lonely day for me, probably one of my loneliest since i've been here. Last night i had someone tell me they're trying to go out as much as possible and join in on things so they can make lots of friends so one day if they wanna visit again they'll be able to stay with these friends. It made me think a lot. I haven't secured a real connection with anyone. You know how you meet that person or those people you have lunch with on the regular or when the weekend comes you guys have your plans set and you're excited for it, i definitely don't have anything close to that. I mean, it's not a surprise for me i guess because in my three years at Loyola i secured two friends that i really felt connected to. I try not to let it bother me but one of the basic human needs is the need for belongingness and i definitely don't feel like i belong anywhere. I don't talk about it with anyone because i've tried to before and i get the same response everytime "Just meet people, just talk to people" Thank you captain obvious if it was that easy i would have a billion friends. I think the best thing anyone ever told me was not to worry about, that i'm doing fine. It kinda reminded me that i am different than most people, maybe it does take me longer to build connections and when i do those connections are very meaningful. It's still hard you know to see everyone with at least one person they connect with, laughing and joking, making plans. Oh no the worst is probably when you're walkin with a group of people and you feel like the odd man out, you are definitely not a part of the group, they have their inside jokes, theyre making plans right in front of you and they even all walk altogether leaving you trailing behind, far enough that its obvious you are not in the group but not far enough where you can play it off and pretend you're walking alone anyway. I think the isolation took such a toll on me today that it read all over my face because even the lady serving dinner asked me if i was ok. I don't really know what to do to change the situation but hopefully i come up with something or i meet just one person that makes me feel just a little less isolated in Australia:( . This is suppose to be the time of my life right and i am experiencing new things but i really can't take anymore lonely trips to the mall, its getting depressing now. I need to put up an Ad for a friend. Lonely, silly girl looking for a nice female friend to feel connected to! Sigh, hopefully it gets better, i'll try to be optimistic. Yay friendship, believable? lol At this point i'm still hopeful but in another week i'm gonna really be willing to pay someone to be my friend! lol

My Own "Dear John" Letter

So how many of you have seen the new movie Dear John? I had the opportunity to see it this week and let me tell you , before i even get into my thoughts about the plot, Channing Tatum was so delicious in this movie. I mean you fall in love with his character but that body, those eyes, the way he clenches his jaw mmmm i swear i can't even reveal the thoughts i had when he popped onto the screen shirtless so many times throughout the movie. Now before i go any further, for those of you who havent seen the movie i am not going to spoil it because i hate when people do that but i must say you should go see it if you're in the mood to cry like a little girl. In my seat i was curled up into a lil ball with streams of tears running down my face and full of sniffles. I read critics reviews of the movie after i watched it and i swear they bashed this movie to dust. i mean listen, we all knew before seeing it that it was going to be a sappy love story full of the usual cliches and the usual romantic script (boy meets girl. boy falls in love with girl. Boy loses girl. Boy finds girl again) I mean what did you expect? So one review i read said it was overly dramatic and full of too many tear jerking twists, ok i admit i did cry like every other minute because of these twists but doesn't that kinda mean they did a good job of capturing you and emotionally involving you in the film? Anyway to the hater critics i LOVED dear john and i probably will be burned on a cross by the feminists of the world but every now and then i love a chick flick that makes me ball like a little school girl. i was so touched by this movie that i went home and wrote my own "Dear John" Letter to someone:)

I'm a real college Girl!

Oh my sweet blog readers I know you must feel so neglected, are you going thru withdrawal? I haven't written in a while because honestly nothing really exciting has happened. I've been going to class and doing my work, really that's about it. I haven't been out to anymore clubs or bars recently. I have been to the mall a few times too many. I can tell you what i've noticed. For those of you who went to loyola or still do, you know that we are spoiled. We definitely do not experience the college life. We don't live in traditional dorms unless you happened to live in Hammerman or Butler but for most of us we've had apartments or suites since our freshmn year. We don't really have a caf where you only have the three choices of the day to choose from, grab you tray and decide. Nope we have Primos where there are a billion options, maybe not the best options but options nonetheless and Boulder which is basically like a mini food court. We've only had to share a bathroom with people we live with in our apartments, very spoiled you know. being here at monash uni, i feel like i'm experiencing college for the first time ever, like real college. I share a bathroom with the people on my floor. I walk out of the shower in a towel to go to my room for the whole floor to see, when i'm hungry i go to the cafe and hope there's something i like(which there always is). If you know me and have gone to school with me, you know i dress up to go anywhere, im in heels when i go to class, im in a fully coordinated outfit to check my mail you know. Here I am the typical college student in pajamas or sweats and a tshirt most of the time, well i still kinda dress up for class (you didn't think i would change that much, did you? lol) For those of you at rutgers or any other real college you probably are thinking whats the big deal but really i've never had the college experience until i came here. i feel almost like a pinocchio in Australia, i'm a real college girl!

Tonight's gonna be a Good Good Night!

So last night i went out into the city for the first time with my new friend Z. We went to a club called Boutique which is nice and filled with models and celebs on Friday nights. I met Angus Monfries, who is like apparently a really really good Australian football player and i met a bunch of models. I may have met more famous people without even realizing it. It's funny because Z flipped out when she saw Angus and i had no idea who he was, she was like omg thats my idol im like..cool? lol It's really cool how everyone i met just lovessss americans and they love my name. stop the track um can i just say thank you to my parents for giving me the coolest name, ok ok i know i didnt appreciate it when i was in america but idk like australians flip over it. I've met boys at home and told them my name and they say "can i go for a ride" or "like the car?" and it was annoying but i dont know maybe its the Australian accents or the excitement when they hear, 9 times out of 10 they say "like the car? thats really cool" and it gets me everytime im like yeaaaa!!!!! lol Ok anyway back to my night, so this club played old school music i mean like old school for me you know like Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls and dare i say Montell Jordan (think u dont know who that is, ok try and finish this line, THIS IS HOW WE DO IT, ITS....if you said Friday night, yup you know him). It was cool jamming to old stuff and i thought it was mind-blowing that everyoneeeeeeeee knew all the words to backstreet boys and spice girls and britney lol I forget they listen to american music here too..The second club i went to was too much fun, it was Hip Hop night and ya know i LOVEEEEEE dancing to hiphop. I was having too much fun. At one point i had one guy buying me a drink as another guy raced to get me a drink faster, i knew i was in for quite a night. We were poppin bottles, i had someone pouring me Moet most of the night but honestly it wasnt until i had a bartender pouring Belvedere down my throat TWICE that i closed my eyes, wiped the drippings from my chin and silently sang to myself "I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night, that tonight's gonna be a good night, THAT TONIGHT'S GONNA BE A GOOD GOOD NIGHT!" lol

How do you say no to Free Beer?

Ok so i joined two societies on campus, the Arts society and the Engineering society. Ok you're probably thinking Engineering society. WTF porscha? Ok so i joined for the tshirt and for the fact pots of beer at the campus bar are only a dollar for engineering society members. Well anyway those are the two societies i joined and let me tell you how glad i am that i joined them. Yesterday The Engineering society had a free BBQ for the members of the society. There were free sausages, burgers and BEER! So of course i was not prepared to turn down free beer so i enjoyed myself. I wasnt done with classes for the day but i thought you know what it would be a good idea to have a few beers before my next class. So i eneded up sleeping and having the hardest time getting up for my last class of the day but i went you know cuz im a good kid. You would think i'd stay away from the free BBQs with free BEER after that...well nope. Today the Arts society had a BBQ for its members and guess what was free, burgers and BEER, possibly my favorite combination of things. So of course i was not prepared to turn that down and i enjoyed myself. But i had finished classes for the day so why not right? Some of you may be thinking wow Porscha you are becoming quite the alchy and you've only been in Australia for going on three weeks well you know what my response to that is? HOW DO YOU SAY NO TO FREE BEER?

Thank You!!

well i just wanted to take the time out and say thank you to everyone who emails me, facebook messages me or writes on my wall. Like seriously, i look forward to it everyday. I mean of course i love writing my blog and letting you guys know what's going on but i like interacting with you all on facebook or email and aim and such... Helps me feel connected to you still even though im a billion miles away, or should i say kilometers. Oh yea thats another thing they use the metric system here god i wish i retained that info from my science classes, would have been helpful right now. But the thing is i did retain it, i know how to go from meters to kilometers and meters to centimeters but um that means nothing to me, i only know inches and miles lol I wish in school they taught you to convert meters to miles and centimeters to inches. i mean i guess its good too because i cant read the nutrition facts on food because i have no idea whats good in kLs lol So for those of you who want to travel outside the U.S i would suggest learning the metric system because even tho it has no purpose in the U.S it actually means stuff in other countries. But anyway, i just wanted to say again Thank You and for those of you who don't write to me SHAME ON YOU sike nah im kidding, but maybe you should cuz guess what, there are juicy stories i cant post on here and if you're lucky i might just tell you;-)

is that rocko from Rocko's Modern Life?

So i just realized looking at my blog that i did not even tell you guys that i saw Kangaroo and Koalas!!!! I am so sorry guys dang how can i come to australia and not even tell you that. Well this past Saturday i went to the Sanctuary which is like an outdoor wildlife zoo kinda thing. Omg it was amazing. Well the only thing wrong was that it was rainy and cold and i had on flip flops and capris, obviously i don't know how to dress for weather correctly. anyways though, the first thing we saw when we went in where these birds (i know this is terrible i dont even know the names lol) but yea we saw these birds with big beaks that are just free to roam around. while we ate lunch as soon as we got there, the birds were like snapping at us trying to eat our sandwiches let me just tell you, when they snapped once you woulda thought i was on a track team i was OUT! lol After lunch we saw Kangaroo they are so scary looking guys im not even kidding lol on tv they look so cute and in pictures but in real life scary scary lol I swear one was like bent down in like a stance that seemed like it was gonna charge us, just in case i was in my own stance ready to run lol I also saw tasmanian devils which if you have not seen before (like i hadn't) they do NOT look like taz from looney tunes. But nonetheless they are sooooooo cute, they were running around awww man so cute and i saw baby ones. I saw platypus and the cutest of all Koalas! The koalas were sleeping in the trees aww they looked so cuddly like nice little teddy bears. i saw one wake up and stretch then go back to sleep omg i swear if i coulda kidnapped one without doing jailtime and being scratched up(cuz apparently they are really vicious) i would have definitely stole one. after seeing the animals we watched a bird show which was kinda cool then we saw a boomerang demonstration which was sickkkkk. well if you are like me and only know about boomerangs from cartoons let me tell you its not what you think or at least what i thought. I thought u throw them straight they pop someone in the face then come right back, no these things go in like a full circle around and back to you, still cool tho. After the sanctuary the next day i went to the mall and they had a pet store there and i saw the cutesttttt puppies! they were sooo tiny and playful! Dont get me wrong i want a koala, i would die for one but i'd settle for one of the puppies i saw. Oh i forgot to add at the sanctuary i saw a wallaby which if you have no idea what that is think rocko from rocko's modern life lol Let me tell you, the cartoon kinda did a good job because in my opinion a wallaby really does look like rocko. i mean when we came to the walby section i was like hey wait is that rocko from rocko's modern life? lol

Feminism and Popular Culture:Love Sex and Romance

So today was the first day of classes for me. For classes here, there is a lecture which is a larger group and then the group is broken up into smaller classes called Tutorials. Today i had one lecture and one tutorial for my Feminism and Popular Culture: Love sex and romance class. My lecture was actually rather small, about 44 students, lectures can be as large as 500 students which i think my lecture tomorrow will be. But anyway, i really like the class, i think it will actually be my favorite (My girl Melisser will be quite proud that i am quite the little feminist!). in the class we will be discussing feminism in popular culture such as magazines like Cosmo or tv series like Sex and the city and cool stuff like that. We have a movie to watch just about every week and the first movie we're required to watch is Pretty Woman! So the lecturer seems really cool, she's funny and witty, i love it! so i dont know if i told you guys but the campus is hugeeeeee, i really thought i was going to be lost trying to find my classes but luckily i wasnt. Tomorrow i have two classes back to back with probably 10 minutes to get to them and i have no idea where the second building is, who thinks i'll get lost and be late (hands up everyone lol). Tomorrow the classes i have are Sex and Crime, Classical Mythology and Australian Idol. Overall i think i have a pretty sick schedule, no classes on fridays and no really early classes, the earliest is on Thursday i have a tutorial at 10 but im not complaining because it was either 10 am thursday or like 4 pm Friday, i'll take 10 am thursday thank you!
Ok stop the track real quick, i need to vent a little bit. Um i have a dell laptop and his name is Toppy and i just want to say WTF, why were you plugged in all day and you are just now charging? You know i only have one outlet in here and i would love to straighten my hair now but i cant unplug you because you didn't feel liek charging all day. What did i do to you? Ok so i am a little rough and sometimes i leave you on for hours and hours and you get really hot and i know its uncomfortable, I'm sorry, i'm a terrible owner but come on get it together and charge, JK take your time baby...
Okay back to the blog, you know what i wonder, if there are people reading my blog that i dont know about and they are like wtf this girl has issues. well guess what, you're reading my blog secretively like a creeper so guess i'm not the only one with issues right? lol...But anyways guys i'm excited to see what my other three classes are like tomorrow, so far my favorite hands down is Feminism and Popular Culture:Love Sex and Romance, doesn't that just sound AMAZING? yea i know how to pick them, don't i? If i only i could say the same about men lol

Ahhhhh CLOWNSS!

So Friday my dorm had a trip to Luna Park which is an amusement park in australia, tis very cool kinda reminds me of a very very small six flags. So i went with my new bestie Tim and his friend. he made me get on the scariest roller coaster omggg im not even kidding i was like hiding the whole time.The worst thing tho was the Circus of screams. It's like a funhouse you go in and you follow the ringmaster as he tells you the story of lost souls and all kinds of frekshows in the circus and scary things pop out (its 3D) and even real life things jump out at you. Omg a clown jumped out of its cage and i swear i almost started crying and then when we left the room where it was at it came into the next room and i dropped my 3D glasses because i was so terrified like after that i swar i kept watching my back cuz i thought it was following me. Bumper cars i was whippin it, people were getting stuck, riding in circles, couldnt drive, not me tho shorty lol...Overall i had suchhhh a great time like it was amazing. At night we drank and played drinking games and it was even more fun, quite a full day for me. i've been here almost 2 weeks and have only been sober 2 nights lol...
Today we went to the beach early in the morning. It was so hot out i swear i thought my skin was melting. The water felt so niceeeee and we went far out because idk the water doesn't get deep until you are way way out in the ocean. But guess what happened as we were heading back for the shore?? We ran into two giant Jellyfish and almost died!!!! I screamed so loud and i thought i was gonna die i swear, i've never seen a jellyfish that close to me you know cept like at teh aquarium. Oo man it was terribleeeeeeee, im scared to go back to the beach now, i'll still go but im still shaking up you know. But nothing tops the scary clown that chased us omg im still checking behind me for it, ahhhhhhh CLOWNSSSSSS!!!

Drunk already?

So its 5:20 pm and ive been drunk since about 3p.m. So like an idiot i went on this tour around campus and it was tortureeeeeee. Look i know i dont know the monash campus really at all and this tour is helpful but come on do i really need to walk with first year students for like an hour and half around this huge campus? umm no i do not. Wells i finally met up with the loyola kids and everyone was already liek drunk so i was way behind and what do you do when youre behind? you drink a ridiculous amount in the shortest period of time you can. So i took like a billion shots in ten minutes and i really had to leave my room in order to not drink to the point of death lol..Well theres a beach party tonight and honestly i cant waitttt, i think im gonna wear a bikini top and shorts, i might bring a jean jacket or a shirt just for when we come back cuz it gets really chilly at night. and in case u were wondering i am concentrating very hard right now to not mispell things lol....I'm gonna go shower right now and get ready then probaly take more shots cuz wtf why not right lol...This night should be very interestinggggggg because its 5:24 pm and im drunk alreadyyyy, blackout maybe? lets see lol

My Love

Well of course my posts have been about Australia and almost all will be but its my blog i can write about what i want and this one has nothing to do with australia. It's my blog and i want to throw some of my thoughts out here so suck it up suckasssss lol.
For a while, well probably since like 8th grade, i've been thinking about love. Everybody wants it, everybody needs it. Some say it's amazing, some say it hurts. I've noticed that the way people describe it and even how i use to think about it, Love is characterized as being dichotomous, all or nothing you know like you're in love or you're not, either its amazing or it hurts, either its right or its wrong. Slowly i'm starting to learn that love is a process, constantly changing and becoming more complex. I use to want to be the perfect girlfriend, i'd think that we'd hit it off and fall in love and things would forever be wonderful but if things were always wonderful we wouldn't be growing together and developing our love for each other. Of course mistakes will be made, some that are unforgivable and there comes a point when maybe it's just best to let go of that love because its too hard for you to recuperate from what its done to you. Maybe the one you love hasn't made any major mistakes like cheat or lie but something is missing, they've lost that feeling of being in love with you, they're just comfortable being with you. This is what i am afraid of, not of being cheated on or lied to but spending my life with someone who is with me because i meet their qualifications for a great wife and not because they can't imagine their life without me. I can say this specifically about me, my love is not perfect, my love is secretive sometimes, my love is embarassing sometimes, my love is so crazy sometimes there should be prescribed medication for it, my love will always make mistakes...But my love is always willing to be better, my love is always getting stronger and constantly reassessing what you mean to me, my love is always there even when my head isn't, my love is forever and worthy of the same shared intensity and depth of emotion, desire and need. I will never give up on my love, even when others do. In the end i just hope there is someone who shares my love.

Grey Goose definitely had me feelin Loose!

So last night we went to a club and can i just say how excited i was to be able to get into a club without worrying about if im old enough. So we went in and of course you already know where i headed, yup to the bar. Well you guys no at home i dont go to bars because i dont have a fake and plus i already look like 16 so even if i had a fake i feel like i wouldnt pass as 21 anyway. So because i dont go to bars i have no idea what to order, the times i've been out here so far i've just been getting beer or wine or champagne but i wanted liquor last night. So of course theres this girl i was talkin to and shes like get this drink im getting let me tell you i still dont know what the heck its called. But the girl said oh its really sweet and like orange-y..It was the worst thing ever and i spent like 9 bucks on it so i was pissed, but for 9 dollars i sucked it up and swallowed it down lol. I decided when i was ready for my next drink to not play around, even if it meant getting straight vodka at least i know i drink that...I decided to go with the classy Grey goose and cranberry, i've never had goose so i wanted to try it, i saw they had smirnoff but i took shots of that right before the bar and chased it with goon (wine). So i went for it and let me tell you it was amazingggg. So i started talkin to this aussie guy and he was all over me because my name is so cool which is like code for "i wanna get in your pants" lol He was like you need another drink, mind you i just ordered my drink its filled to the rim, i take one sip and i'm like yea i'll take another lol...Ok time out i know guys are always trippin about how girls take drinks from them and it gives off the wrong message um no if u ask me do i want u to buy me a drink and i say yes that doesnt mean i want to sleep with you it means i'm trying to get wasted and you are assisting with that, think of it almost as community service, a good deed to the public if you will lol...Anyways though he buys me another cranberry and goose, gets himself two beers and we go sit and talk. I'm sipping on my drinks so its fine i dont mind him chatting with me then before i can finish my first drink he's like here let me get you another *RED FLAG* this guy was trying to get me RIPPPPPPPPPEDDDDDD i like to drink but uh uh so im like no thanks. He follows me for like an hour, no lie i had to hide in the bathroom for a while...Then while i'm dancing some guy is trying to makeout with me i'm like whoaaaaaa shorty its a dance thats it. I mean listen i know some girls makeout with people at bars, pst i made out with someone a few days ago, given i knew who he was and all but you know i get it but the feeling should be mutual...don't just shove your tongue down my throat. Ok besides those two guys i had so much fun. The music was ok they played a few songs i actually knew and a bunch of songs to fist pump to lol Oh did i tell you guys thats the Loyola thing, we fist pump lol Its so funny cuz the music will be goin and then you see all of us down beating the beat up, building it up then we start pumping our fists lmao Funny thing is im not joking, we actually have so much fun. We were at the club wayy too long for me though, i was worn out by the time i got home. Thursday night is the big night everyone is anticipating, theres a bar right by campus everyone goes to on Thursday nights, its gonna be packed and a guaranteed good time. I can't wait the Goose had me feeling loose last night, lets see how out of control i get on thursday!

Is this what 007 feels like?

So last night we had 'Casino Night' in my dorm as a part of O week (orientation week). So we had to get dressed up and everyone was looking good; girls in nice dresses boys in ties, very casino royale-ish lol. When you went into the room where it was being held you were given fake money to gamble with. There was Bingo, Poker, BlackJack, Pool and Roulette. As soon as i got my money you know where i headed... straight to the back to get some champagne lol They served champagne with a strawberry on the rim very classy, beer and sparkling red grape juice. So after i was situated with my drink i played some black jack. Well let me tell you, if we go to a casino together i'm not the girl you want to let play for you, i lost about 20 in black jack won back ten. Afterwards i had to refill my glass a few more times because its only right to gamble drunk lol So i played roulette and for those of you who don't know what it is let me tell you its the best game to play if you have no skills and just wanna "hope" you'll win. Theres a big wheel with numbers all around it half the numbers are in black and half are in red, you pretty much bet on what you think the wheel will stop on, you can guess red or black, odd or even, a range of numbers or a specific number, the more specific you get the more you win. Let me tell you i was up like 60 bucks and feeling invincible, i was doing so well, had people patting me on the back and you would think when you see your luck is running out that you would stop um no i felt the need to lose everything i won plus 40 more dollars lol. After almost betting everything i decided to just drink and watch everyone else lose lol..Well down to like 50 bucks someone walks past and drops all their money on the ground and of course i picked it all up. At the end of the night they auctioned off prizes you could get for your money and i bid on a teddy bear for 200$ i only had 165 in my hand so i asked one of my friends for some money and i won the cutest little teddy bear. My friend said i have to name it after him so Tim Jr is his name. My floor put their money together and we won a tv! Overall, i had so much fun. i didn't think it would be so much fun and i almost skipped it. I'm glad i went and got to feel like 007 James Bond for the night.

This definitely isnt Seaside or Wildwood!

So i went to the beach yesterday and it was the most amazing experience everrrrrrr. We took the bus there and as soon as we got off and laid eyes on the beach i think we all finally realized this is Australia. The water was so clear and you could walk out so far into the water before it even started to get deep. Well as some of you know i just got over my fear of water last semester. I mean this was a big fear like i wouldn't go past knee level in water like it was wayy too scary. But yesterday at the beach i went in all the way up to my shoulders, amazing right? yea i felt so proud like a big kid. When you looked down into the water you could see your feet it was so beautiful. But let me tell you it was ridiculously hot on the sand at one point i was sweating buckets. I got a nice tan though which my legs are thanking me for but my arms are upset about. See i never ever, well no not never have i ever but rarely do i wear shorts in the summer or skirts, i work at a summer camp in the summer and i just feel more appropriate with jeans so my legs are like the most colorless part of my body. later in the night i hung out with some of the kids drinking and playing Never Have I Ever which if you didn;t know is the best game to play with people you don't really know yet lol. It was a lot of fun and i told more than my share of things about myself, its australia tho, what happens here stays here, i think? lol..Today some people want to go to the beach, i'll probably go just for the fun of it and the clear clear water. For all of you who've been down the shore, Autralia beaches are definitely nothing like seaside and wildwood, a billion billion billion times better!

Shy girls finish LAST!

I thought and thought whether i should post this because i know a few people who read my blog would be so upset with me but you're suppose to express yourself through this no matter what so here goes. Australia is so beautiful and the people are nice but no matter how far i travel or where i go, i'll always be shy. The worst part is when i tell people about it who know me and they don't get it, they'll say something like just talk to people. Well if it were that simple for me, i probably would have done it by now, no offense. I guess it's hard to imagine me being shy when you've known me for so long and are used to me being crazy and comfortable with you all. But honestly it's so hard like its unbearable sometimes, especially in a group of people. Its really intimidating for me and i know that might sound crazy but its true. Yesterday we had a dinner and all the people from Loyola sat together and it seemed like there was no room at all for me, i sat by myself for a while until someone invited me over. But even after being invited over i still felt out of the group you know. Its hard for me to find the courage to join in on conversation and when i do my voice is so low that no one hears and let me tell you if you wanna feel rejected thats probably one of the worst feelings of rejection. But i want to clarify its not like people aren't letting me in the group or anything mean like that, its just everyone else fits so well already in the group that it feels so isolating. I can make all these promises that i'll try harder to fit in and get comfortable but honestly i'm just running on hope now, i hope i start to fit in soon. I'll keep you posted on my little shy girl handicap, wish me luck.

Money doesnt grow on trees!

So there is this tradition with kids who study abroad from my school in australia. Every semester at Monash Uni. they go on this 10 day trip which takes you a bunch of places and you get to do a ton of things like skydive, bungee jump, scuba diving, surfing lessons, booze cruise, etc. Well this year with flights included it costs 2700 AUD which is pretty much like 2500 USD, still a lot of money you know. Well i dont know about you guys but my parents aren't rich and they don't make a ridiculous amount of money. I'll fill you guys in, my ma is the only one in my house working because my dad got cancer and is on disability now, so its tough you know. My ma can't just throw me that kind of money. The trip is really huge tho and its tradition and everyone is going. It's going to be a major bonding moment and i feel like if i don't go i'm going to regret it and feel very left out. But if i spend all my money on this one trip how will i survive these next few months with no money? I'm still trying to figure it out in my head, i'm hoping it will all work out for the best. Of course i would love to go and have a great time and share memories with everyone but money really doesn't grow on trees, well at least for me it doesn't.

Monash university

so im staying at Monash University in australia for the semester and let me tell you its beautifullllll and so big. Like i'm gonna have body builder calf muscles by the end of this all the walking you have to do, in flip flops (or thongs as they say here). Well so far the aussie kids havent moved in (p.s dont you love how im adding in all this australian slang like i've been here forever its been three days i need to relax lol), ok so anyway its just the exchange students and study abroad students here so far. i've met people from the U.S, sweden, england, and here in australia. Its cool meeting people because they all have really cool accents, people seem to really liek my name too so bonus points for me. So the campus is huge, the dorm rooms are tiny tiny tinyyyyyyyyy, we have a room to ourself and co-ed bathrooms to share with the floor (so that means im gonna be seeing hotties get out the shower for the next five months, yes be jealous its only appropriate lol). So let me tell you, the bugs are eating me alive, my ankles are covered in buggie bites idk what kinda bugs either, the bites dont itch or turn into bumps they are just red dots. i dont know, whatever tho right. anyways, so they drive on the opposite side of the road here and its weird cuz i'll look at a car and see a kid in the seat where the driver side is for us and im like ahhh you're too young to drive but then i see the steering wheeel is on the other side lol..The weather is really nice, very very sunny for the most part theres a cool breeze in the afternoon which makes it so nice to lay out and get skin cancer but not be ridiculously hot. apparently i've been told theres no o zone layer here, idk im not a science major i could be lying to you right now im just telling you what i heard so google it first before you spread that lol. Umm the accents are ridiculously sexy just like you imagine. Yes the drinking age here is 18 and yes i've already gotten drunk lol Liquor is ridiculously expensive so wine and beer is where its at for me because im so cheap lol..the hardest part about being here is not being able to contact my family whenever i want, for the first two days i couldnt call or use the internet, i have a phone now and am working on my internet now..speaking of phones let me just put this out here, vent a little bit about my issue. Ok so T-mobile um im leaving yall i mean soon as i got to new zealand my phone stopped working and hasnt worked since, maybe you thought i didnt want or need to use my ohone since im not in the USA but um yea i do thank you for the jerk move on your part...ok back to the blog lol..So yeah i liek it here a lot, it doesnt quite feel like school yet, it seems more like summer camp. Speaking of school i need to get my classes together ugh i had to change my schedule like 50 times cuz my classes conflict with each other and i dont have that power to be in two places at once...Slowly things are becoming less chaotic as im getting my technology and connection to the world back...Oh wait i must tell you, loyola univesity has a terrible reputation here for beign messy drunks and only sticking with each other which i can confirm about most people on this trip. So im trying to keep myself apart from that you know, cant have a bad rep, im a good girl you know lol...But overall i love Monash University and Australia!

FIRSTS

So you know how when you think about doing something for the first time its soooo terrifying? Wells thats how i felt about going to australia. My first time flying, my first time out of the country, my first time being somewhere my parents couldnt get to if they needed me, (yea surprise surprise money doesnt grow on trees they couldnt just fly here). Saying goodbye to my parents was probably the hardest thing i've ever done, worse than when i first left for college btu i was also really excited. getting on the plane i was so nervous, no lie i prayed a lot(i didnt make any bargains with god tho like god if you keep me safe i wont have sex ever again cuz i figured he wouldnt even take me seriously if i said that lol). But when the flight took off i was more amazed than scared, i actually wasnt scared at all. it was likesomething i never experienced before like a space movie or something lol. The clouds seriously is what i imagine heaven looks like except you can like walk on the clouds oh and god of course will be there mainstage lol. Well i flew from new york to cali to new zealand to australia. Let me just say that there is this security guard at LAX who is fineeeee i mean too fine like i melted. He checked my passport and was like have a good flight miss haynes, i was like thank you real cute like cheezing in his face and everything lol.. Ok moving on lol..The only thing about the flights was on the second one i didnt have gum to chew for the landing and my ears were in so much pain i thought they were gonna blow up i swear...We arrived Monday morning in australia where the international director of Monash university where i stay met us. Ok let me tell you about him, his nae is Luke and he is delicious. we found out he's gay but i mean how gay are we talking? lol He wears liek the tight button up shirts tight jeans but like the sexy european tight not like the skinny jean wearing fools in america lol his accent...to die for! i mean i cant even keep up with what hes saying cuz he is just gorgeous and sounds so sexy lol..well i wont get into what australia is like until the next post which is like in a minute..anyway i just want to wrap this up by saying, i love doing things for the first time, the whole process of being scared and nervous then excited its all worth the feeling of accomplishment at the end. i already feel like i've grown so much just experiencing the "firsts" i have, it feels amazing:)

Leaving Tomorrow

So Tomorrow is the "Big Day." My first flight and to Australia at that. I don't really have any feelings right now about it. I kinda feel numb about the situation. I imagine that when i have to say goodbye to my parents and little brother tomorrow i will feel sad and nervous. Getting on the plane will be so scary i just know i'm going to freak out. It's exciting though. I'm always trying to start over in my life, re-do things, get afresh start with people, this is my chance i suppose. I guess that is one thing for me to be nervous about. I am very shy around new people, i've never been outgoing so it's been hard for me to meet people and make friends. I'm gonna try to go into it with a positive attitude and just have fun. I'm sure i'll make plenty of friends. I'm most excited about being able to drink over there lol sad but true. Oh and i'm excited to wear my new clothes, i bought a ton of shorts and skirts to show off these legs cuz they definitely need some sun. i hope im sitting next to someone from my group on the plane that way i have a chance to at least introduce myself to someone. At the meetings we had before we left school, it seemed like everyone knew at least 2 other people there and not just like hey you were in my class but like friends friends. I just don't wanna be the odd girl out you know, i wanna blend in with everyone or at least bond with one person in that group. The cool thing is that we dont all live together, we live in separate dorms so we get to meet different people and arent just hanging with Loyola kids. These next few months should be quite interesting. I can't wait!