Ahhhhh CLOWNSS!

So Friday my dorm had a trip to Luna Park which is an amusement park in australia, tis very cool kinda reminds me of a very very small six flags. So i went with my new bestie Tim and his friend. he made me get on the scariest roller coaster omggg im not even kidding i was like hiding the whole time.The worst thing tho was the Circus of screams. It's like a funhouse you go in and you follow the ringmaster as he tells you the story of lost souls and all kinds of frekshows in the circus and scary things pop out (its 3D) and even real life things jump out at you. Omg a clown jumped out of its cage and i swear i almost started crying and then when we left the room where it was at it came into the next room and i dropped my 3D glasses because i was so terrified like after that i swar i kept watching my back cuz i thought it was following me. Bumper cars i was whippin it, people were getting stuck, riding in circles, couldnt drive, not me tho shorty lol...Overall i had suchhhh a great time like it was amazing. At night we drank and played drinking games and it was even more fun, quite a full day for me. i've been here almost 2 weeks and have only been sober 2 nights lol...
Today we went to the beach early in the morning. It was so hot out i swear i thought my skin was melting. The water felt so niceeeee and we went far out because idk the water doesn't get deep until you are way way out in the ocean. But guess what happened as we were heading back for the shore?? We ran into two giant Jellyfish and almost died!!!! I screamed so loud and i thought i was gonna die i swear, i've never seen a jellyfish that close to me you know cept like at teh aquarium. Oo man it was terribleeeeeeee, im scared to go back to the beach now, i'll still go but im still shaking up you know. But nothing tops the scary clown that chased us omg im still checking behind me for it, ahhhhhhh CLOWNSSSSSS!!!

Drunk already?

So its 5:20 pm and ive been drunk since about 3p.m. So like an idiot i went on this tour around campus and it was tortureeeeeee. Look i know i dont know the monash campus really at all and this tour is helpful but come on do i really need to walk with first year students for like an hour and half around this huge campus? umm no i do not. Wells i finally met up with the loyola kids and everyone was already liek drunk so i was way behind and what do you do when youre behind? you drink a ridiculous amount in the shortest period of time you can. So i took like a billion shots in ten minutes and i really had to leave my room in order to not drink to the point of death lol..Well theres a beach party tonight and honestly i cant waitttt, i think im gonna wear a bikini top and shorts, i might bring a jean jacket or a shirt just for when we come back cuz it gets really chilly at night. and in case u were wondering i am concentrating very hard right now to not mispell things lol....I'm gonna go shower right now and get ready then probaly take more shots cuz wtf why not right lol...This night should be very interestinggggggg because its 5:24 pm and im drunk alreadyyyy, blackout maybe? lets see lol

My Love

Well of course my posts have been about Australia and almost all will be but its my blog i can write about what i want and this one has nothing to do with australia. It's my blog and i want to throw some of my thoughts out here so suck it up suckasssss lol.
For a while, well probably since like 8th grade, i've been thinking about love. Everybody wants it, everybody needs it. Some say it's amazing, some say it hurts. I've noticed that the way people describe it and even how i use to think about it, Love is characterized as being dichotomous, all or nothing you know like you're in love or you're not, either its amazing or it hurts, either its right or its wrong. Slowly i'm starting to learn that love is a process, constantly changing and becoming more complex. I use to want to be the perfect girlfriend, i'd think that we'd hit it off and fall in love and things would forever be wonderful but if things were always wonderful we wouldn't be growing together and developing our love for each other. Of course mistakes will be made, some that are unforgivable and there comes a point when maybe it's just best to let go of that love because its too hard for you to recuperate from what its done to you. Maybe the one you love hasn't made any major mistakes like cheat or lie but something is missing, they've lost that feeling of being in love with you, they're just comfortable being with you. This is what i am afraid of, not of being cheated on or lied to but spending my life with someone who is with me because i meet their qualifications for a great wife and not because they can't imagine their life without me. I can say this specifically about me, my love is not perfect, my love is secretive sometimes, my love is embarassing sometimes, my love is so crazy sometimes there should be prescribed medication for it, my love will always make mistakes...But my love is always willing to be better, my love is always getting stronger and constantly reassessing what you mean to me, my love is always there even when my head isn't, my love is forever and worthy of the same shared intensity and depth of emotion, desire and need. I will never give up on my love, even when others do. In the end i just hope there is someone who shares my love.

Grey Goose definitely had me feelin Loose!

So last night we went to a club and can i just say how excited i was to be able to get into a club without worrying about if im old enough. So we went in and of course you already know where i headed, yup to the bar. Well you guys no at home i dont go to bars because i dont have a fake and plus i already look like 16 so even if i had a fake i feel like i wouldnt pass as 21 anyway. So because i dont go to bars i have no idea what to order, the times i've been out here so far i've just been getting beer or wine or champagne but i wanted liquor last night. So of course theres this girl i was talkin to and shes like get this drink im getting let me tell you i still dont know what the heck its called. But the girl said oh its really sweet and like orange-y..It was the worst thing ever and i spent like 9 bucks on it so i was pissed, but for 9 dollars i sucked it up and swallowed it down lol. I decided when i was ready for my next drink to not play around, even if it meant getting straight vodka at least i know i drink that...I decided to go with the classy Grey goose and cranberry, i've never had goose so i wanted to try it, i saw they had smirnoff but i took shots of that right before the bar and chased it with goon (wine). So i went for it and let me tell you it was amazingggg. So i started talkin to this aussie guy and he was all over me because my name is so cool which is like code for "i wanna get in your pants" lol He was like you need another drink, mind you i just ordered my drink its filled to the rim, i take one sip and i'm like yea i'll take another lol...Ok time out i know guys are always trippin about how girls take drinks from them and it gives off the wrong message um no if u ask me do i want u to buy me a drink and i say yes that doesnt mean i want to sleep with you it means i'm trying to get wasted and you are assisting with that, think of it almost as community service, a good deed to the public if you will lol...Anyways though he buys me another cranberry and goose, gets himself two beers and we go sit and talk. I'm sipping on my drinks so its fine i dont mind him chatting with me then before i can finish my first drink he's like here let me get you another *RED FLAG* this guy was trying to get me RIPPPPPPPPPEDDDDDD i like to drink but uh uh so im like no thanks. He follows me for like an hour, no lie i had to hide in the bathroom for a while...Then while i'm dancing some guy is trying to makeout with me i'm like whoaaaaaa shorty its a dance thats it. I mean listen i know some girls makeout with people at bars, pst i made out with someone a few days ago, given i knew who he was and all but you know i get it but the feeling should be mutual...don't just shove your tongue down my throat. Ok besides those two guys i had so much fun. The music was ok they played a few songs i actually knew and a bunch of songs to fist pump to lol Oh did i tell you guys thats the Loyola thing, we fist pump lol Its so funny cuz the music will be goin and then you see all of us down beating the beat up, building it up then we start pumping our fists lmao Funny thing is im not joking, we actually have so much fun. We were at the club wayy too long for me though, i was worn out by the time i got home. Thursday night is the big night everyone is anticipating, theres a bar right by campus everyone goes to on Thursday nights, its gonna be packed and a guaranteed good time. I can't wait the Goose had me feeling loose last night, lets see how out of control i get on thursday!

Is this what 007 feels like?

So last night we had 'Casino Night' in my dorm as a part of O week (orientation week). So we had to get dressed up and everyone was looking good; girls in nice dresses boys in ties, very casino royale-ish lol. When you went into the room where it was being held you were given fake money to gamble with. There was Bingo, Poker, BlackJack, Pool and Roulette. As soon as i got my money you know where i headed... straight to the back to get some champagne lol They served champagne with a strawberry on the rim very classy, beer and sparkling red grape juice. So after i was situated with my drink i played some black jack. Well let me tell you, if we go to a casino together i'm not the girl you want to let play for you, i lost about 20 in black jack won back ten. Afterwards i had to refill my glass a few more times because its only right to gamble drunk lol So i played roulette and for those of you who don't know what it is let me tell you its the best game to play if you have no skills and just wanna "hope" you'll win. Theres a big wheel with numbers all around it half the numbers are in black and half are in red, you pretty much bet on what you think the wheel will stop on, you can guess red or black, odd or even, a range of numbers or a specific number, the more specific you get the more you win. Let me tell you i was up like 60 bucks and feeling invincible, i was doing so well, had people patting me on the back and you would think when you see your luck is running out that you would stop um no i felt the need to lose everything i won plus 40 more dollars lol. After almost betting everything i decided to just drink and watch everyone else lose lol..Well down to like 50 bucks someone walks past and drops all their money on the ground and of course i picked it all up. At the end of the night they auctioned off prizes you could get for your money and i bid on a teddy bear for 200$ i only had 165 in my hand so i asked one of my friends for some money and i won the cutest little teddy bear. My friend said i have to name it after him so Tim Jr is his name. My floor put their money together and we won a tv! Overall, i had so much fun. i didn't think it would be so much fun and i almost skipped it. I'm glad i went and got to feel like 007 James Bond for the night.

This definitely isnt Seaside or Wildwood!

So i went to the beach yesterday and it was the most amazing experience everrrrrrr. We took the bus there and as soon as we got off and laid eyes on the beach i think we all finally realized this is Australia. The water was so clear and you could walk out so far into the water before it even started to get deep. Well as some of you know i just got over my fear of water last semester. I mean this was a big fear like i wouldn't go past knee level in water like it was wayy too scary. But yesterday at the beach i went in all the way up to my shoulders, amazing right? yea i felt so proud like a big kid. When you looked down into the water you could see your feet it was so beautiful. But let me tell you it was ridiculously hot on the sand at one point i was sweating buckets. I got a nice tan though which my legs are thanking me for but my arms are upset about. See i never ever, well no not never have i ever but rarely do i wear shorts in the summer or skirts, i work at a summer camp in the summer and i just feel more appropriate with jeans so my legs are like the most colorless part of my body. later in the night i hung out with some of the kids drinking and playing Never Have I Ever which if you didn;t know is the best game to play with people you don't really know yet lol. It was a lot of fun and i told more than my share of things about myself, its australia tho, what happens here stays here, i think? lol..Today some people want to go to the beach, i'll probably go just for the fun of it and the clear clear water. For all of you who've been down the shore, Autralia beaches are definitely nothing like seaside and wildwood, a billion billion billion times better!

Shy girls finish LAST!

I thought and thought whether i should post this because i know a few people who read my blog would be so upset with me but you're suppose to express yourself through this no matter what so here goes. Australia is so beautiful and the people are nice but no matter how far i travel or where i go, i'll always be shy. The worst part is when i tell people about it who know me and they don't get it, they'll say something like just talk to people. Well if it were that simple for me, i probably would have done it by now, no offense. I guess it's hard to imagine me being shy when you've known me for so long and are used to me being crazy and comfortable with you all. But honestly it's so hard like its unbearable sometimes, especially in a group of people. Its really intimidating for me and i know that might sound crazy but its true. Yesterday we had a dinner and all the people from Loyola sat together and it seemed like there was no room at all for me, i sat by myself for a while until someone invited me over. But even after being invited over i still felt out of the group you know. Its hard for me to find the courage to join in on conversation and when i do my voice is so low that no one hears and let me tell you if you wanna feel rejected thats probably one of the worst feelings of rejection. But i want to clarify its not like people aren't letting me in the group or anything mean like that, its just everyone else fits so well already in the group that it feels so isolating. I can make all these promises that i'll try harder to fit in and get comfortable but honestly i'm just running on hope now, i hope i start to fit in soon. I'll keep you posted on my little shy girl handicap, wish me luck.

Money doesnt grow on trees!

So there is this tradition with kids who study abroad from my school in australia. Every semester at Monash Uni. they go on this 10 day trip which takes you a bunch of places and you get to do a ton of things like skydive, bungee jump, scuba diving, surfing lessons, booze cruise, etc. Well this year with flights included it costs 2700 AUD which is pretty much like 2500 USD, still a lot of money you know. Well i dont know about you guys but my parents aren't rich and they don't make a ridiculous amount of money. I'll fill you guys in, my ma is the only one in my house working because my dad got cancer and is on disability now, so its tough you know. My ma can't just throw me that kind of money. The trip is really huge tho and its tradition and everyone is going. It's going to be a major bonding moment and i feel like if i don't go i'm going to regret it and feel very left out. But if i spend all my money on this one trip how will i survive these next few months with no money? I'm still trying to figure it out in my head, i'm hoping it will all work out for the best. Of course i would love to go and have a great time and share memories with everyone but money really doesn't grow on trees, well at least for me it doesn't.

Monash university

so im staying at Monash University in australia for the semester and let me tell you its beautifullllll and so big. Like i'm gonna have body builder calf muscles by the end of this all the walking you have to do, in flip flops (or thongs as they say here). Well so far the aussie kids havent moved in (p.s dont you love how im adding in all this australian slang like i've been here forever its been three days i need to relax lol), ok so anyway its just the exchange students and study abroad students here so far. i've met people from the U.S, sweden, england, and here in australia. Its cool meeting people because they all have really cool accents, people seem to really liek my name too so bonus points for me. So the campus is huge, the dorm rooms are tiny tiny tinyyyyyyyyy, we have a room to ourself and co-ed bathrooms to share with the floor (so that means im gonna be seeing hotties get out the shower for the next five months, yes be jealous its only appropriate lol). So let me tell you, the bugs are eating me alive, my ankles are covered in buggie bites idk what kinda bugs either, the bites dont itch or turn into bumps they are just red dots. i dont know, whatever tho right. anyways, so they drive on the opposite side of the road here and its weird cuz i'll look at a car and see a kid in the seat where the driver side is for us and im like ahhh you're too young to drive but then i see the steering wheeel is on the other side lol..The weather is really nice, very very sunny for the most part theres a cool breeze in the afternoon which makes it so nice to lay out and get skin cancer but not be ridiculously hot. apparently i've been told theres no o zone layer here, idk im not a science major i could be lying to you right now im just telling you what i heard so google it first before you spread that lol. Umm the accents are ridiculously sexy just like you imagine. Yes the drinking age here is 18 and yes i've already gotten drunk lol Liquor is ridiculously expensive so wine and beer is where its at for me because im so cheap lol..the hardest part about being here is not being able to contact my family whenever i want, for the first two days i couldnt call or use the internet, i have a phone now and am working on my internet now..speaking of phones let me just put this out here, vent a little bit about my issue. Ok so T-mobile um im leaving yall i mean soon as i got to new zealand my phone stopped working and hasnt worked since, maybe you thought i didnt want or need to use my ohone since im not in the USA but um yea i do thank you for the jerk move on your part...ok back to the blog lol..So yeah i liek it here a lot, it doesnt quite feel like school yet, it seems more like summer camp. Speaking of school i need to get my classes together ugh i had to change my schedule like 50 times cuz my classes conflict with each other and i dont have that power to be in two places at once...Slowly things are becoming less chaotic as im getting my technology and connection to the world back...Oh wait i must tell you, loyola univesity has a terrible reputation here for beign messy drunks and only sticking with each other which i can confirm about most people on this trip. So im trying to keep myself apart from that you know, cant have a bad rep, im a good girl you know lol...But overall i love Monash University and Australia!

FIRSTS

So you know how when you think about doing something for the first time its soooo terrifying? Wells thats how i felt about going to australia. My first time flying, my first time out of the country, my first time being somewhere my parents couldnt get to if they needed me, (yea surprise surprise money doesnt grow on trees they couldnt just fly here). Saying goodbye to my parents was probably the hardest thing i've ever done, worse than when i first left for college btu i was also really excited. getting on the plane i was so nervous, no lie i prayed a lot(i didnt make any bargains with god tho like god if you keep me safe i wont have sex ever again cuz i figured he wouldnt even take me seriously if i said that lol). But when the flight took off i was more amazed than scared, i actually wasnt scared at all. it was likesomething i never experienced before like a space movie or something lol. The clouds seriously is what i imagine heaven looks like except you can like walk on the clouds oh and god of course will be there mainstage lol. Well i flew from new york to cali to new zealand to australia. Let me just say that there is this security guard at LAX who is fineeeee i mean too fine like i melted. He checked my passport and was like have a good flight miss haynes, i was like thank you real cute like cheezing in his face and everything lol.. Ok moving on lol..The only thing about the flights was on the second one i didnt have gum to chew for the landing and my ears were in so much pain i thought they were gonna blow up i swear...We arrived Monday morning in australia where the international director of Monash university where i stay met us. Ok let me tell you about him, his nae is Luke and he is delicious. we found out he's gay but i mean how gay are we talking? lol He wears liek the tight button up shirts tight jeans but like the sexy european tight not like the skinny jean wearing fools in america lol his accent...to die for! i mean i cant even keep up with what hes saying cuz he is just gorgeous and sounds so sexy lol..well i wont get into what australia is like until the next post which is like in a minute..anyway i just want to wrap this up by saying, i love doing things for the first time, the whole process of being scared and nervous then excited its all worth the feeling of accomplishment at the end. i already feel like i've grown so much just experiencing the "firsts" i have, it feels amazing:)

Leaving Tomorrow

So Tomorrow is the "Big Day." My first flight and to Australia at that. I don't really have any feelings right now about it. I kinda feel numb about the situation. I imagine that when i have to say goodbye to my parents and little brother tomorrow i will feel sad and nervous. Getting on the plane will be so scary i just know i'm going to freak out. It's exciting though. I'm always trying to start over in my life, re-do things, get afresh start with people, this is my chance i suppose. I guess that is one thing for me to be nervous about. I am very shy around new people, i've never been outgoing so it's been hard for me to meet people and make friends. I'm gonna try to go into it with a positive attitude and just have fun. I'm sure i'll make plenty of friends. I'm most excited about being able to drink over there lol sad but true. Oh and i'm excited to wear my new clothes, i bought a ton of shorts and skirts to show off these legs cuz they definitely need some sun. i hope im sitting next to someone from my group on the plane that way i have a chance to at least introduce myself to someone. At the meetings we had before we left school, it seemed like everyone knew at least 2 other people there and not just like hey you were in my class but like friends friends. I just don't wanna be the odd girl out you know, i wanna blend in with everyone or at least bond with one person in that group. The cool thing is that we dont all live together, we live in separate dorms so we get to meet different people and arent just hanging with Loyola kids. These next few months should be quite interesting. I can't wait!