Shy girls finish LAST!

I thought and thought whether i should post this because i know a few people who read my blog would be so upset with me but you're suppose to express yourself through this no matter what so here goes. Australia is so beautiful and the people are nice but no matter how far i travel or where i go, i'll always be shy. The worst part is when i tell people about it who know me and they don't get it, they'll say something like just talk to people. Well if it were that simple for me, i probably would have done it by now, no offense. I guess it's hard to imagine me being shy when you've known me for so long and are used to me being crazy and comfortable with you all. But honestly it's so hard like its unbearable sometimes, especially in a group of people. Its really intimidating for me and i know that might sound crazy but its true. Yesterday we had a dinner and all the people from Loyola sat together and it seemed like there was no room at all for me, i sat by myself for a while until someone invited me over. But even after being invited over i still felt out of the group you know. Its hard for me to find the courage to join in on conversation and when i do my voice is so low that no one hears and let me tell you if you wanna feel rejected thats probably one of the worst feelings of rejection. But i want to clarify its not like people aren't letting me in the group or anything mean like that, its just everyone else fits so well already in the group that it feels so isolating. I can make all these promises that i'll try harder to fit in and get comfortable but honestly i'm just running on hope now, i hope i start to fit in soon. I'll keep you posted on my little shy girl handicap, wish me luck.